This semester’a going great so far. I don’t have to be on campus the whole week, I have time to eat, sleep and work out and I even have a cute teacher! I’m not doing anything with that last one though but a little semester crush that keeps me coming to school is appreciated.
Another day of having to remind myself that not spending unnecessarily is my choice. I’m not trying to deprive myself, I just need to change my relationship with money and shopping when bored or unsatisfied with my life. It’s hard, my brain loves making all the excuses to buy whatever.
I’m on my way to college. Had such a fun weekend with friends and family in the mountains. I never get tired of Banff and the views, I’m super grateful I have access to beautiful places. I hope I can keep the good vibes from the rest I got for two days.
Such a simple task but I really enjoy doing laundry. I find it very relaxing and folding the clothes after is almost like meditation. Thankful I can enjoy even the smallest things.
Found my old Kodak digital camera and it still works great so I’m gonna do an experiment where I’ll bring it with me everywhere so I can use it to take pictures instead of my phone. It’s pretty fun to use and it’s also pretty easy to upload the photos in my laptop to post online. Hope it sticks!
"If it's meant to be, it's up to me."
I was listening to a podcast yesterday on slow living and this quote from the host caught my attention. She used it to illustrate the type of mentality that she had before she chose to live more intentionally. The hustle mindset. It made me think of my own actions and how easy it is to think that everything is up to me. I just have to work hard and not take as much breaks and be productive all the time.
Right now I'm in college, doing my best to finish a degree. As much as I want to not do much and take everything easy, I do have a busy schedule. I want to do well in classes and I want to actually understand what I'm learning. What I'm trying to do is find balance with school, work and my life. Easier said than done of course but I'm making headway.
This week, after recovering from a stomach flu last weekend, I made sure I'm not over working myself by putting too much on my to-do list and my schedule. If I manage to finish two or three tasks in the day then I'm happy. So far, it's actually been really nice! I haven't felt as much anxiety or muscle tension from stress the same way I've been feeling the last couple of weeks before I got sick. Yesterday, after four days of not working out I got myself to start back up and it went great, because I'm not tired anymore and have more strength.
Next week will be my last week of classes this semester and the beginning of exam week. I have my first exam on Friday. I haven't studied for it as much yet. But you know what? I'm not panicking about it like I was. It was for the better too because now, I can think much more clearly, and everything I've been studying is actually being absorbed. I just need to tie up other loose ends for other class projects that need to be done and I can focus on preparing for the exams.
I know my life probably seems really trivial with all the school and work mundanity, but I'm actually learning a lot. I don't think life is supposed to be all high energy and excitement. I'm slowly learning how to appreciate the small little things that make up my days. Learning how to be a better student is part of the process. It's still hard, some days it feels like the end of the world but I'm getting better at being mindful so I can detach from those thought spirals.
Slow and steady is my motto for this life chapter.
I haven’t been meditating for long and I mostly use guided ones but am I glad I started it. It has made such a difference with my daily levels of anxiety and how I cope with stress around me. I honestly thought it wouldn’t do anything for me. It’s very subtle, but I’m not as reactive anymore.
Just had a long conversation with a friend about how we have so much creative and childish fantasies in our head but we can’t do it because we’re poor. All our time is being siphoned to make money so we could have a semi-decent future. I still have hope for the world but right now it’s really hard.